Thats book!

I'm a bit of a texting monster and the automatic word organizer predictive texts thing is pretty useful, but it's like a monster word confuser, huh? I tend to keep the rovocab down to like basic english levels, so words like "yr" and "huh" figure big. I'm not sure if all the companies use the same software (probably not) but I have verizon666 and it promotes serious doublethink. Some basic words like if/he, home/good or in/go always trip me up. But one that really strikes me is book/cool. It is so preposterous that they assume Americans want to talk about books more than they say "cool." I mean, right? But, sometimes I find myself actually thinking "thats book!" (If indeed one can think a phrase that is missing an apostrophe - but that's another post...) So, sitting just now, I realized that enables a 21st c. 1984 conformity-togetherness mass-mind techno cyber oh wow man far fucking out man experience (21-84 C.T.M.M.T.C.O.W.M.F.F..O.M.E). So like, if me and about a million billion other people have the same stupid program driving us nuts, then someone else must have the compulsion to say "thats book" as an alternative way to express approval, so...

"Oh fugnuts. I wanted to be on the mug. *goes and sulks in corner* Glad he liked it though! Thats book!" With pix;

"yup thats book bbq"

"thats book, u looking forward to christmas? xXx"

"Chololate pocket on your phone was ringtone channel to ringtone funny thats book. 903sh, but a great fun! Often these heat sensitive i..."

"Wrap up my head zoloft imitrex but thats book. Copy of what hcp this opk. Extreme cap liquid weight loss pills urimax is used to terazosin gelonida..." (great - I'm glad I have synchronicity with complete incoherency.)

This is the most explicit; "Someone I met the other day said that the 'kids' (he must've thought we were much older than we are) were now using the word 'book' instead of 'cool' because that's what comes up first on predictive texts..."

And people have even appropriated and commodified the idea; "Thats book, that's totally book...." (From the myspace of a library in New South Wales.)

I only found one example where the apostrophe was used (although it used quite a few predictive text oops in a row); "Yeah I could, but he you foot want to that's book too." (Kind of trying too hard. I guess usually the kind of person who appreciates nonsense phraseology is not an i dotter or t crosser...).

This was a bit hard, but I found three people (ok; one genuine person, one glam-shot, and one avatar) who have had the same super-obscure thought that I had. Again, it's the conformity that makes this possible. Oppression is a great force in drawing people together! Of course probably some of these were just typos. 90% or so of fools were just failing to type "that book" correctly, lots of "that's book value," waaaaaaaay to much crap about the bible, and a surprising amount of "that's book smarts" (pretty much the worst thing you can say about someone these days, shudder...)

So. Aren't you glad that I'm conducting this research for you? If I weren't doing it for free you'd probably have to be paying someone to do it for you, huh?

BTW - What the hell is Neil Young talking about in that song "After the Goldrush?" (Free download here.) It's about an alien invasion right? Planetary defense and evacuation? Back me up here cause google images isn't. I mean, usually alien pix are the easiest thing to find...

So, it's hard going to sleep. I feel like I need to write to you, but what the hell?

OK. Space out;