What it means to be angry

This post is an exploration of some negative emotions, but it is not a crazy or depressed post. I sometimes think too much about politics, or the unappealing side of how humans act, and it makes me angry and frustrated. Sometimes seeing that other people see the same things makes me feel a lot better. But sometimes it makes me feel awful. If it's going to make you feel awful to see a bunch of disturbing videos, then you shouldn't watch the videos in this post, and I'll try to post something a little less one-sided some other day.

For some reason I was thinking about being angry today. I don't know how, but it ended up thinking about how angry the music I used to listen to was. Of course, now I can take a step back and see how even a group like Skinny Puppy is a pop group. I would have never admitted so before. Not that I disrespect them, but just that I can see the pop element in everything. That all content that is purposefully presented to an audience has elements that attempt to make you like it. Even if it works by opposites - for example, trying to make sounds that absolutely nobody will be able to stand is an attempt to appeal to people who absolutely hate appealing sounds (I distinctly remember looking at an avocado while I was thinking this.) Anyway, I still love some of that music - Skinny Puppy is amazing. It seems funny to have a deep nostalgia for something so dark. But I guess that comes part-in-parcel with being a citizen of a nation that worships death and destruction. I was listening to that song "Testure" which is about vivisection (quite a catchy little tune actually). I don't mean to be ironic - I am just thinking back to when I was younger and I would let myself get so angry about these things. But it's interesting - the marketing of anger was so big when I was a kid. What am I trying to do here? Transcend? But I don't want to do so ironically. Focus on my anger? I hear that can be... unhealthy. Whatever - it's a freaking blog.

I didn't have a blog when I was a kid, so I guess this is the kind of post I would have made back then. You know - gym class sucks. But of course, YouTube wasn't around. Too bad - I could have had much more detailed nightmares.

Skinny Puppy songs (selected for song, not video) (Skinny Puppy is... hard to like... but it is good.) Oh - these videos are all super-disturbing, but some of them are also beautiful. I should add that cEvin Key, the singer, is a pretty amazing guy - very positive and intelligent. These songs come from as early as 1983 - the sound might not be as high-tech as it would've been if recorded today, but there is something really powerful about the sampling and drumming, and of course the vocal style.

Testure (this is an absolutely terrifying video about vivisection so you might want to think twice if you want to sleep):

Smothered Hope:

Dig it:

Inquisition:

the choke:

Worlock

tin omen:

Spasmolytic:


Anyway - the song "Testure" begins with a quote - I looked it up, and I found a movie by the guys who made "Watership Down" Here's the first part, and it goes on to have the whole movie. This is an AMAZING movie about dogs and about death:


After you watch it, make sure to go here.

Again, this has been a presentation of the angry young me who doesn't come around much. It's been fun. But angry fun. Actually - what the hell am I doing? When it gets late it's like I'm on autopilot. Feel nutso now. Wonder why? Duhh... But I don't feel DOWN - that's the thing - just like, small you know.